I have 6 wedding dresses. Yes, you read that right. At this moment 6 wedding dresses hang in my home closet. Yes, they are all for me and my one and only wedding. Let me explain, I’ll admit that is happens to the best of us, even the most Zen of us. Sometimes, we can get a little too caught up in the outside worlds perspectives. Especially, when it comes to “important” events in your life, say, getting married for example. At least these are those events we have been taught are important. Believe it or not I have set a strict budget to stick to, mainly because I simply refuse to spend a fortune on one day that could just as easily be enjoyed fully with those you love for a lot less to impress them. Although, I am slightly ashamed to admit that I did fall victim in parts to society with certain elements. Instead of embracing the thought of marrying the love of my life I have been caught up thinking about how to write up the “set up description” for my set up team or whether or not the napkins match perfectly or my 6 dresses. Truly, I know that none of this actually matters. I know that in the end the only thing that truly matters it that I marry a good and caring man and that I am a good and caring wife. Actually, neither of those things really matter either. What really matters is that we just are good and caring, period, all of us. I do not need to identify myself with the title of “wife”. I will not belong to my husband and therefore will not be his wife just as he will not belong to me, but let’s leave that for another topic.
I guess what I am getting at is that we all have to pull ourselves back in sometimes. That brings me to the story of my 6 dresses. It all started when my soon to be mother in law offered to make my dress. Now, I know what you are thinking, but she is actually quite talented. Being that I am an avid believer in non-traditional I decided that I would wear black, much to my mother’s dissatisfaction. So, it begins the dress making processes of sizing and re-sizing and changing style and so forth. It’s at this point I start to let the outside circumstances and opinions weigh on me. They would say “it will look like you’re going to a funeral” or “don’t you think your will regret that?” or “are you unhappy that you’re getting married?”. These are actual real things that were said to me at some point by several people. So, I decided, I would wear a white dress, but in addition to my black dress. One would be for the ceremony and one for the reception. Most brides wear two dresses anyway, right? Enter dress #2. It doesn’t fit. Even after exact measurements were sent, one size too small was what I got. No returns. No excuses. Crap. Now, I have changed my mind a million times on style of dresses by this time. Someone said to me that I was too “curvy” to wear a mermaid style dress, which happens to be the dress my sweet mother and law was working on. Well, stop the presses. I am too fat to wear that now, clearly if someone said so!
That brings us right into dresses #3 and #4. Before you judge me, please remember that I said I was on a tight budget, and while I will not go into money I will say that I paid for all dresses combined less than most woman pay for one dress. That will be in a future post for how to have an amazing wedding without spending a fortune (spoiler alert, it’s a TON of work). So, onto #3 and #4. Really, there isn’t anything totally wrong with dresses #3 and #4, except that I am disappointed in the fabric and style. These dresses were made overseas and like the risk taker I am I decided to take a chance on ordering them since they were priced so well. Could I make one of dress #3 and #4 work? Probably, but now I have all those expectations in my head and so just in a last stich effort, I order dresses #5 and #6. The truth of the matter is that even in this very moment I am embarrassed to admit this actually happened. Well, it took me 6 dresses to realize that I had fallen victim to outside circumstances. If I would have just let my mind and heart be clear of those outside opinions, I am certain I would have been able to come up with something that I would be incredibly happy with. At least I am not in lack of product to choose from. Now I just need to let myself decide for myself.
Don’t let yourself get 6 dresses deep before you catch yourself.