Make Lemonade


One thing people tend to forget in life is that not everything is about them, in fact nothing is, it’s only the way you feel about it which makes you take it personally. Even the way someone is acting towards you or a current circumstance really has nothing to do with you, but everything to do with that persons own experiences and interpretations and your feelings towards the situation. Most of society has not learned the skill of controlling their emotions and are therefore are in fact controlled BY their emotions. The way that you “feel” really has very little to do with the person or situation you believe is causing you to feel that way. It’s your choice to make a situation whatever it is and you have the power to change it.

I was recently traveling in Hawaii and feeling a bit down because my Fiance had been on a business trip there that I had tagged along on. Granted, I should have been prepared to spend a significant amount of time alone due to his work responsibilities, but alas I still whined “there is nothing to do by the time you get off, we haven’t done anything!” It hit me then, that yes WE had not been able to do anything that was worthy in my opinion of a vacation adventure, but that was not his fault. I still had myself to blame for letting time pass idle. Even though truth be told most people would have been perfectly content lounging about the beautiful beach of Waikiki and here I was complaining about being lonely. By the second day, I realized how silly I had been allowing these feelings of fear and self pity overwhelm my time in this beautiful place, even alone! I decided to take matters into my own hands and ventured off by myself. I found a sailing trip for only $20 by chance and hopped on board with a boat full of strangers! A wonderful couple from Vancouver shared their beer with me and I learned so much about their lives. What an amazing thing they had done, moving all the way from Korea to Vancouver learning the language and cultural differences along the way!  Had I decided to let my emotions get the better of me I never would have had such a wonderful encounter.

I ventured off to the zoo next and was in awe of the difference in the experience of being with the animals solo. It was a week day so there were few people walking around and I had the opportunity to sit individually at each exhibit, quiet and study the animals. With no pressure to rush and no other obligations, I took advantage of my time to sit and spend significant time at each station. I saw couples and families walk by, hastily peering into the exhibit for a few minutes, shrugging at the lack of animal presence and walking away. I’d smile and chuckle to myself as the leopard would poke his head above the rock once all motion ceased on the outside. I wonder if he felt relief to be seemly alone again and had to laugh at my own resistance to that very same gift.

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I watched him for quite some time, having off and on staring contest as if trying to read the others thoughts. At one point a rather loud and rambunctious crowd drew with children and their yelling parents. The children would whistle and make loud roaring sounds towards the leopard. Slowly and reluctantly he pulled himself two by two to all four feet. He yawned and climbed onto the rock closest to the bench I perched on, now surrounded by yelling children. His face turned serious as he squatted then peered down at the children, all anxiously awaiting some remarkable act. The leopard had a bowel movement yawned and retreated back behind the rock. Wide eyed and shocked the children let out an enormous ripple of laughter as if this was some kind of deliberate comedy routine for their amusement. They trotted off happily exchanging gasp and laughter at one another.  “If a message was being sent at all”, I thought, “the joke was on them!” To me it seemed like a big “screw you for messing with my nap, take this human brats!” I let him sleep after that and moved onto the elephants.

The one afternoon that my fiance did have totally free we planned to go hiking. Based on the tip of another amazing person I met on my trip. She was a local coming home from LA and we struck up a conversation on the airplane, I was so inspired by her passions and plans for the future. She and her friend had been planning to open their own boutique in Hawaii. People that truly know their paths always fascinate me and I love learning about them. Upon walking to breakfast on this beautiful morning a sudden down pour hit and we knew hiking was too dangerous and out of the question. We talked over breakfast about all of the what if’s that could occur and decided it was too risky, but just as quickly dismissed all of those thoughts and figured even worst case wasn’t so bad. Since we were on a positive and somewhat dangerous train of thought, we decided to rent moped’s and cruise up to the hike in the rain.

Along the way, the down pour became so intense that our clothes were soaked through and we could barley see in front of us. We pulled over to the side of the road, but instead of discussing the obvious dangers and misfortunes of the weather we laughed so hard we cried. We climbed back onto the soaked leather seats and continued our trek. As it turns out, reading directions while driving a moped is not a very realistic feat. So, instead of heading to the hike suggested by my new local friend we found ourselves randomly at diamond head. Just as we made it to the top of the look out view, the rain ceased and the beautiful skies shown through. Most people would have chosen to let the rain get the better of them, they would have run back to their hotel news paper over their heads and waited it out. The fact is, a bad situation is only a bad situation if you decide that it is and allow it to be. Every moment in life, even death can be joyous and free. We all have a limited amount of time on this amazing earth in our current physical forms. It’s up to you to feel the best you can in all of those moments in your life, even the “bad” ones.  Choose to enjoy, choose to release situations that cause you grief and are out of your control, choose to be happy, choose to change, choose.

If you don’t add sugar to lemonade, it’s going to be sour.

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The Power Of Release


There comes a time in your life when you need to just release things that bring you anxiety or stress. I’ve found so much inner peace and love over the past few years that I have just decided not to hang onto negative people, places, memories or things. I am releasing them. Sometimes in the form of writing, which in many cases has been unwelcome by some that do not understand it. However, I think that bringing to light and speaking aloud truth you’ve kept bottled for so long can be a great healer. When you begin to release things in any form, you will get great resistance from others. Especially, if you are speaking truth about things they’d like to hold onto and they will feel great discomfort with your choice to release.  People can take great pride in their secrets, and your releasing them threatens the identity they have created around these secrets. Some people cannot accept the power of release and choose instead to dwell in either denial or the comfort of their own perception. Unable to accept the experiences of others.

It simply cost too much to allow someone or something to make you feel physically ill or mentally drained. Life is much too short for those things. This is why I have been practicing the power of release. I’ve chosen to simply remove myself from those kinds of situations. That doesn’t necessarily mean I am cutting people out of my life, I am simply removing myself from the negative situation. I am not allowing my emotions to be affected by outside circumstances. In order to achieve that, I will simply refuse to participate in giving it power.  I have worked very hard on creating balance, abundance and peace in my life and cannot allow that to be disrupted by outside circumstances. I feel that those that know me best as a person, will have no questions as to my character or motives. Therefore, I need not defend either of those things because the people that choose to bring love into my life would never dream to question those things even during this process. As the like minded and loving people will accept my journey as I will accept theirs as a result.  When your motives or character are being questioned, I think you have to reevaluate the relationship or situation. Your spiritual and personal quest, which for me currently is healing with writing,  will either bring out the best in others, or the worst. This is when you will know what and whom to keep. No matter how long, or what it might disrupt, it might be time to draw back your focus. It’s so important to be surrounded by like minds, and to draw those interactions to you. If you continue to hold on to the situations or things that are not in line with your spiritual growth, you will come to a stand still. Overcome by the circumstances instead of continuing to create love, light and positive vibrations.

I don’t view this as some kind of a loss, I think that you’re gaining peace when you choose to release. When the only thing that comes from a relationship or a situation is stress and anxiety, it’s just not worth spending your precious peace and energy on. If something in your life is creating this inside you to the point that it’s affecting your well being, it’s time to release. Once you choose to release a situation it will resolve itself one way or another, but continuing to hold on will only bring more stress.

I am so blessed in my life to be continuously surrounded by amazing people and circumstances. I am thankful everyday for those things and I will continue to be thankful for people and situations that create balance and love in my soul. Many times our first reaction to negative is to respond defensively desperately trying to shed light on our side. I realize now that is unnecessary. When others intentions are that of love, respect and understanding in your life, they will create that towards you. If their intention is to create negative and unnecessary disruption on your life because of their own projections they will also create that towards you.

I love meeting new people and hearing their stories. The saying that some people, even family, are in your life for reason or just a season is so true. We are all here to learn from each other and to experience new things and grow! At some point, sometimes you stop growing. I know that within myself and the life I am choosing to create, I want my relationships that I choose in my life to continue to grow. They cannot do that when others are creating negative thoughts and reactions towards you.

My mother used to refer to these people as “emotional vampires”  because by the time you are finally ready to be released from them, you are completely drained. They are the ones that round up others and consume a situation like a giant black hole trying to suck as many people into the negative energy force as possible. This is because they are choosing not to release and the only way to continue to hold on to the negative being created is to gain the acceptance of others on their perspective. This feeds the “emotional vampire” because they can now latch onto someone else and continue to drain them with negative sucking. They will probably be greatly successful at this since as humans we’re much more naturally attached to the negative and dramatic roles in life. If others cannot see the light and beauty that you are projecting onto the world, they are simply not worthy to receive it. If they have chosen to perceive you or your actions as those that are not loving, then perhaps they have missed the point completely.

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Oops, I didn’t know I Couldn’t Talk About SEX…


Apparently, it’s still quite taboo in our society to talk about sex. This is rather news to me as I thought we were all past that, but apparently some still have some growing to do; possibly growing up? I’d like to say that if you were offended by my sex talk, you probably need to get laid, but recent reactions from my last post regarding sex makes me leery to do so.

Such fond memories as a child playing the “penis game”. A pointless display of child’s play where you try relentlessly and normally fruitlessly to embarrass your best friend by yelling penis louder and louder until someone gives up. However, lately I have found myself yelling penis in an effort not to embarrass you, but to free your mind of the black hole it’s currently residing in.

Sex is a magical and beautiful thing in a loving relationship.  I am a firm believer that once you’re committed to someone, tested and safely parenthood planned, you should consider trying every dirty thing you’ve ever felt guilty for thinking. I mean, if you can’t get down and dirty with your soul mate, that you plan to spend the rest of your rotting bodies life with, then you may want to re-think that matrimony.

Some of the silly replies on got from my interview with scandalous women, really made me think most woman are stuck in the 50’s! Apparently, they missed the bra burning times during the 60’s somewhere along their lives. Women flopping around in their baggy t-shirts like armed soldiers with their bags full of ammo spewing directly into the eyes of the unwashed masses. Did those woman risk their breasts perky futures to no avail? Only to have future more privileged generations turn their nose up at those comfortable with their own sexuality? Well, I hope those of you that have a problem with speaking publicly on sex, that you loose sleep over the fact that your grandmothers paraded around proudly hard nippled for your right to do so. For shame.

Play with life folks, no one is judging but you.

On that note: PENIS, VAGINA, NIPPLE! Eat your heats out naysayers.

Free your mind and the rest will follow!

Finding Zen In Simple Things


One of the hardest things I struggle with in in my spiritual growth is being in the now. Buddha said “Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.” I believe this has a lot to do with being in the now, best taught, or rather better known, by Eckhart Tolle’s recent teachings. Being in the now means not dwelling on outside circumstances being created by others, after all we are in fact creating this within ourselves by allowing it to affect our emotions. Sometimes, the best way to be in the now is to find simple things that occupy your mind and your total attention. Lately, I’ve found those things to be crafts, creating music, writing and other creative outlets.

Take time outside your normal routine to enjoy creative and fun outlets. Before you know it, you’ll be so consumed with your project, hours will pass and you’ll not have had any other thought in your mind except your current focus. Afterwards,  I’ll bet you’ll find your mind, body and soul are much more at ease having given your inner voice a rest. Our internal chatter and ego are so loud we need to find ways to tame them. Meditation is great, but creative outlets can work in the same way and will give you just the focus you need to quiet your mind. Happy crafting!

Need some inspiration?

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