I Don’t Want To Start Any Blasphemous Rumours

The universe has a sick sense of humor. Yes, it’s very true and before you roll your eyes at another popcorn tale about creating your own universe, hear me out. If you read my profile you know I grew up rough. Life was hard and always getting harder. My father was a relentless alcoholic that terrorized my mother to no end. I’ll bore you with the gory details of my pathetic “childhood” in a braver post. Meanwhile, back to the lecture at hand. I learned the art of creating my own universe young, I just didn’t know it. I’d escaped the nightmare of my childhood nearly unscathed, ask my psychologist, I’m nearly at 100% normal functionality. Anywho, I grew up into the real world and completely forgot how to create. When I turned 22 I left Seattle, my hometown, for the bright lights of California to pursue a music career, I’ll bore you with the gory details of my “music career” in a braver post.

I took a day job in marketing, to pay the bills and with the misguided thought that it might help my music career as well. We used to give away this promo CD by Earl Nightingale called “The Strangest Secret”. I literally hand burned and packaged these stupid things and I hated the sight of them. Anywho, one day my car radio couldn’t get any reception, so I popped the CD in out of desperation and road rage. Earl Nightingale with his deep serious tone and his big words totally blew my mind. He was talking about “positive attitudes” and “manifestation” just like what I used to do as a kid. To think, I’d be a millionaire by now had I kept with it, but here I am in my 20’s having to learn to use my imagination all over again. Society has a way of taking that from us as adults, I blame TV and politics.

So, to cut to the chase I read every book, I watched all the films and I started to get really good at this shit. Although, I began to notice that I would always get what I asked for, just perhaps not in the form I was hoping. Want some kind of example? I thought that you might. One day I’m driving down the road and it’s bumper to bumper and I am so irritated by this. So, I begin my meditation and start to visualize the cars as blurs of color flying through the air. I’m smiling and taking deeps breaths to bring the positive back into my body and release the irritations of road rage. Just then, a gust of wind hits and a truck, I am guessing as I didn’t see it, loses a pallet of napkins and they all go flying through the air like some kind of a laugh line in a black and white film. As I am gazing in what feels like slow motion at these napkins falling like snow gracefully through the air, I notice that one of the napkins has attached itself to my windshield wiper. The wind picks up again and the napkin starts to whip about on my windshield creating a blur of colors from the different colored balloons imprinted on the napkin. Of course, I am laughing aloud at myself at this point thinking “I guess I should have been more specific.” The traffic clears.

See the moral?

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